Howard A. Fox

September 02, 1918 - September 21, 2009

Beloved Husband, Father, Grandfather & Great-Grandfather

Preceded in death by wife, Adrienne; son, Kevin; & brothers, Leonard and Percy. Survived by son, Stephen (Marcia); daughters, Anne & MaryKay (Bruce); daughter-in-law, Kim; grandchildren, Elizabeth, Molly, Stephanie (Matthew), Amber, and Tiffany; & great-granddaughter, Claire. Howard was born on September 2, 1918 to Peter & Sylvia Fox. Raised on a farm in southern Minnesota he was the oldest of five children, with brothers, Percy, Joe and Leonard and sister, Lois. After high school, he attended business school in Mankato. He then worked at the Self-Serve Grocery store for several years before moving to Minneapolis where he worked in a Tobacco store. He joined Lampert Lumber Company after encouragement from his brother, Percy who was already employed by Lamperts. After two years he was drafted by the Army Air Force and was shipped to several areas in the Pacific where he worked as a cryptographer. He returned to St. Paul and rejoined Lamperts where he worked for 41 years initially managing three lumberyards in South Dakota before returning to the main office where he retired in 1983 in the position of Executive Vice President.

In 1947 he met and married the love of his life, Adrienne LaPalme. Stephan and Anne were born in South Dakota and MaryKay and Kevin were born in Minneapolis. The family eventually expanded to five granddaughters and one great-granddaughter. They build their first home in Mendota Heights in 1958 where the family lived for many happy, eventful years. In 1973 they purchased 32 acres in Eagan where they built their dream house and enjoyed their hobby farm for the next 24 years. Throughout the years, they had many wonderful travels with the family and on their own. Designations included Hawaii, Columbia, Italy, Ireland and throughout Europe and several cruises on iron ore shipping vessels throughout the Great Lakes. In later years Howard got the genealogy bug and did extensive research on both families with subsequent trips to Ireland and Germany. They came back with many good experiences, stories and a taste for wines. After retirement, they spent winters in Stuart, Florida enjoying golfing, sunshine and family. It is truly an honor to talk about my father and highlight all he meant to us as a man, a father and a grandfather, and especially as a great grandfather. Many of you have known my father longer than me and could fill this room with stories about my father that I couldn't possibly know. So, I'll share with you, the Howard Fox I came to know over these years, as the third child of Adrienne and Howard Fox.

Last night the family got together to create the photo display that is just outside this room. Hanging off of one of the easels is a sign that says
"There are but two lasting bequests we can give our children…the first is roots-the last: wings" That little saying appeared one day, and I don't recall how it made it into our house on Dodd road, but they both loved it, and so it hung in plain view near the family room for years. When they moved to the townhouse in Eagan, it came along.

How true this was in how they raised their family. So why did this saying speak to them? How did Dad install these two bequests?

Roots: This about who we are, our relationship with parents, siblings, and extended family members. That comes from family love, respect, and spending time together. Accountability: Spirituality & Morality: Family ties: learning about your Ancestry:
Let me say first off, they both had different parenting skills. However, they always presented a unified front to any requests, pleas, demands or misbehavior…now, I'm not talking about myself of course, but to the numerous problems my siblings presented to my folks. Without fail, this is how the process worked. So we knew what the ground rules were

Family love & respect: I feel confident that no family is without some internal bickering and family members fighting. However, we were taught that you needed to apologize once tempers had cooled. Dad may have been a tough cookie but he always apologized soon after a fight. That taught me to try keeping my temper in check, evaluate the argument and swallow my pride…the bottom line was that you LOVED your family no matter what and that forgiveness was the utmost goal. Growing up we didn't say, "I love you" out loud but through his actions we knew he did. However, after losing Kevin in 2001, he made sure he said it as we hung up the phone after a long talk, or when I came home to visit, it was the last thing we said each night.

Family togetherness: A golden rule was that we always sat down and ate dinner together. We shared our events of the day and everyone had their moment to speak. Dad taught us how to ride bikes; he built the Fox mobile (a go-cart with a small engine that dad built and was the start of Steve's passion for cars) We spent many hours riding around the neighborhood, wearing through many shoes as they were our only brakes! Dad would use many of his mothers home remedies to treat our many cuts & scrapes.
Accountability:
1) He was tough on us-there was no goof'n around in church, in public, no sassy talk-one look from him, one touch of the arm and you knew to stop or there would be consequences
2) We knew we had to do well in school: when the report cards came out, we sat down and talked about the good and the bad. Good grades were rewarded, with bad grades we talked about why I didn't do so well, how could I improve those grades by changing my behavior, studying harder, carving out a specific time after school, etc. At that moment, it was a learning lesson but it had larger application to other aspects of life over the years.

Spirituality & Morality: This included an obligation for Sunday worship (Dad said we needed to thank God for all the good things in our life)
 there were evening stations of the cross during lent,
 Dinner prayers. This also made us feel close as a family.
 All of us attended St. Peters for grade school and the older kids catholic high schools. Those school days included daily mass, praying in Latin and learning from dedicated nuns. .
 Dad showed us what we should hold true in our heart, to speak up, and be honest. I remember one time, at age 7, when it was discovered that I had stole some candy. I was told we would be going back to the storeowner, confess and do what he asked to rectify the situation. Believe me, I was mortified but Dad marched me down to the corner store where I went through the embarrassing scene. As I said, I remember this one time event….
Family ties: dinners, picnics at grandpa/grandma fox's farm…we grew up playing with our cousins and knew them well, loved our uncles and aunts. That still holds true today. I think how rich our lives are from these events, the connections and shared respect.
Ancestry: Once Dad retired, he got the genealogy bug and dug into this with great zest and curiosity. It was impressive how quickly he pulled the pieces together first with his family then Mom's. He picked up the computer to further his skills and soon was emailing and adding to the Utah based "family tree maker" webpage. He soon had a network of newly found family members through emails, by home visits (theirs or his) when he combined these pursuits with travel to Germany, England, Ireland and Canada. We learned about all those that came before us, their journeys and stories. Their struggles were like ours, the universal love for their families, their strength and pride to pursue what they felt essential for their families.

Wings: How does a parent install in a child the sense of self worth, confidence, and strength that will allow them stand on their own to be successful and weather troubles that life throws at us. To me, that means building confidence, a being self-reliant, and instilling a Work ethic:

Confidence: Dad encouraged us to get involved in sports. I often heard "you can do better than that" which made me dig down, work harder and experience the rewards for staying in the game. Getting a smile from Dad made my day, as I knew he was very proud of what I accomplished. When we moved to Eagan, he got horses for Kevin and I to ride. Dad taught me the art of breaking horses; often I got bucked off the horse. Dad would say that I had to get right back on the horse so the horse would know who was in charge. It was the old "Get back in the Saddle" motto. To this day, I still find this applies in my life.

Self-reliant "Do -it-yourself "attitude: The motto: "waste not, want not" was ingrained in us. As a child from the depression, Dad always saved bent nails; we learned that with a few quick smacks with a hammer it made them reusable and ready to go. A funny insight on this concept of recycling nails comes from Joe Kane, a friend of my brother Kevin. He said that through the years, watching Dad 's many projects in the garage he didn't realize until he was ten years old that you could actually buy nails in a store. Dad built the Fox-mobile; animal cages for me did the electrical jobs around the house, masonry, etc. I used to love watching him work in the garage building things or working with the tools. He was so organized and efficient in his shop; saved jelly jars were filled with washers, screws or other parts saved for future projects. I marveled at how neatly they were displayed with their tops attached to the underside of the shelves so the jars seemed to "FLOAT" with their contents visible. I was there when he was fixing the foxmobile engine and got his finger caught by the belt. I learned many new words that day was told not to repeat them yet learned a powerful lesson on being careful when working around machines. One of my outdoor activities was watering the plants, which still gives me great joy to this day.

Work ethic: Chores were part of our daily lives and we learned the value of a dollar when we did them and received a weekly allowance. The boys did the outside work, the girls the inside chores. $$ from the Weekly allowance could be spent how we chose BUT emphasis was on saving those quarters in our piggy banks. He helped us open up saving accounts, watched the books so we learned to be responsible and see how money made money. I felt ownership and pride and learned fiscal responsibility. Often, when growing up, Dad wasn't around much. He left early and came home just before dinner, often working at the kitchen table after dinner. Sometimes Kevin and I would go to work with him on the weekends. He would give us a dime to get a coke from a machine, a real bottle of coke to share and enjoy until he was done.
He worked hard, enjoyed his success and took the great joy in providing for the family to make life more enjoyable. He was the ultimate provider

So, year by year he taught us by example what was important, morally right, and how to be financially responsible. Dad demonstrated his love by being the provider, showing his skills building things and saving for a rainy day. He stressed education and love of family. Growing up, I took this as the norm but as an adult, I see how rich our family life was and how lucky I was to have learned the important things in life.

I believe he succeeded in bequesting those important basics: ROOTS AND WINGS. May God hold him close. We will dearly miss him….

Funeral Information

Mass of Christian Burial 11 AM Thursday, September 24, 2009 at the CHURCH OF ST. PETER, 1405 Sibley Memorial Highway in Mendota with a visitation 1 hour prior to the Mass. Interment Resurrection Cemetery in Mendota Heights.

Donations Information

Memorials preferred.

Directions

Service:  Map to St. Peter - Mendota

Cemetery:  Resurrection Cemetery

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